Paper One - Comprehension Sample Answer - 2001 - Question B

Paper I – Comprehending

(All of the candidates’ own spelling, punctuation etc. have been retained.)

Text 3 An Irish Sense of Humour… Question B Imagine your local radio station is producing a programme entitled COMIC MOMENTS… write the text of the presentation.

“And you join us here live on Supreme 107.7 FM all over Dublin City and County for out top ten stories ‘Stories from the City’, and this is the moment you have all been waiting for, the number one comical story from Dublin City.

It will be told now by the one and only, Mr Wanderly Wagon himself, the man who inspired generations of children to ruin all the clothing in their houses – it’s Forty Coats from TV!” “Thank you. The story I will tell you has been changed many times but this is the version I was told and I believe it to be true. It seems there was a great character living in Dublin during the war call Cormac Murphy, but he was nicknamed ‘Herring’ after this story. He was well known as a character, all over the city. Anyway, one day he went into O’Rahilly’s pub on Parnell Street. The landlord in this pub was a notorious crank. Murphy walks into the pub at half nine at night. The pub is jammed with people. The barman working alone has worked up a fierce sweat. So, Murphy is asked by O’Rahilly what he will have to drink. Murphy replies, ‘Have you got any fish?’ ‘Of course not,’ replies O’Rahilly. ‘This is a pub. What do you want to drink?’ ‘Ah, nothing,’ says Murphy, ‘I want a herring.’ O’Rahilly now infuriated exclaims ‘Will you stop wasting my time, get out of my pub.’

The next day Murphy went back to the pub at the same time. O’Rahilly, now feeling some remorse for the previous night when he shouted at Murphy, makes it his business to go over to him as soon as he walks in. ‘Murphy, there you are, listen I’m sorry I yelled last night. Tell you what, have a drink on the house, what’ll it be?’ Murphy, startled at this uncharacteristic change in O’Rahilly says the first thing that pops into his head – ‘I’ll...

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